Tuesday, June 3, 2008

10 Tip! How to be a Successful Wife

Make Dua to Allah SWT to make your marriage and relationship successful.

All good things are from Allah SWT. Never forget to ask Allah ta'ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah ta'ala - into Jannah.

  • Listen and Obey!

Obeying your husband is Fard! Your husband is the Ameer of the household. Give him that right and respect.

  • Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah.

Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. So .. please him.

  • An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault.

When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.”

  • Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does. Then thank him again.

This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.

  • Joke and play games with your husband.

A mans secret: they seek women who are lighthearted and have a sense of humor. As Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.

  • Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house.

From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses – as described in the Qur’an. As a wife, continue to use the jewelry that you have and the pretty dresses for your husband.

  • Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them

The Qur’an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to ‘enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband.

  • When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting.

Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom – what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.

  • Use your ‘Fitnah’ to win the heart of your husband

All women have the ornaments that Allah SWT blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah - Azza wa Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.

May Allah SWT grant all da women enuf wisdom to act upon these tips n make their married life happy n full of barakahs. Aameen Summa Aameen.

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

10 Tips! How to be a Successful Husband

  1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
  2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
  3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
  4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
  5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
  6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!
  7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
  8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
  9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
  10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful (Aameen).

And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

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Saturday, May 5, 2007

Our Role Today is The Same as the Role of the Great Messengers of Allah (Part-3, Last)

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

For the last two Parts, when we asked the question: What is our role in this age and in this society? We said: Our role is the same as the role of the great past messengers that Allah sent to the people. This is because we are their heirs till the Last Day, and we now know that their first task was conveying the message in the clearest way, their second task was the Da'wah, calling people to Allah, and their third task was giving glad tidings and warnings.

In this part, we will continue discussing the other tasks of the messengers so that we will know our role and tasks.

Fourth: Reforming and purifying the People's Souls.

When people live in ignorant societies, that are not ruled by the Deen of Allah and are not guided by Allah's legislation, they get corrupted, and corruption reaches the depth of their thoughts, their visions, their manners, and morals. So, it is a must that someone reform and purify these souls, and bring them back to their pure natural state that Allah created them with.

Allah made this difficult task from the tasks of the great messengers; that is reforming and purifying the souls of those people who accepted and embraced Islam as a way of life.

We see Mousa (S.A.W.) when Allah sent him to the Pharaoh with a clear task. So, Allah said in Surat An-Nazi’at, (Verses 17-19), what can be translated as, "Go to Pharaoh, verily, he has transgressed all bounds. And say to him: "Would you purify yourself (from the sin of disbelief). And that I guide you to your Lord, so you should fear Him."

We also see Ibrahim (S.A.W.), after he finished building Allah's House, supplicating to Allah to send in his progeny after him someone who will purify them. Allah (S.W.T.) said in Surat Al-Baqarah, (Verse 129), what can be translated as, "Our Lord! Send amongst them a Messenger of their own, who shall recite unto them Your Verses and teach them the Book (this Qur’an) and Al-Hikmah (Wisdom), and sanctify them. Verily! You are the All-Mighty, the All-Wise." Allah (S.W.T.) responded to his supplication by sending the prophet Mohammed (S.A.W.). Allah (S.W.T.) also said in Surat Al-Jumu’ah, (Verse 2), what can be translated as, "He it is Who sent among the unlettered ones a Messenger (Mohammed S.A.W.) from among themselves, reciting to them His Verses, purifying them, and teaching them the Book (this Qur’an) and Al-Hikmah (Wisdom). And verily, they had been before in manifest error."

Allah (S.W.T.) made success or failure a result of purified souls or unpurified ones. So, he said in Surat Ash-shams, (Verse 9 & 10), what can be translated as, "Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself. And indeed he fails who corrupts his ownself. He also said in Surat Al-A’la, (Verse 14), what can be translated as, "Indeed whosoever purifies himself shall achieve success." Allah (S.W.T.) also made entering Paradise and living in it forever a reward for the one who purified himself/herself. Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat Ta-Ha,(Verse 76), what can be translated as, "Everlasting Gardens under which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever: such is the reward of those who purify themselves."

Fifth: Correcting Misguidance and Corruption in the Life of the People.

When people live in ignorant societies that are not ruled by the Deen of Allah and are not guided by the legislation of Allah, their societies get corrupted, and this corruption reaches the depth of their dealings. So, it is a must that someone reforms these societies and makes them live according to the Deen of Allah (S.W.T.).

Allah (S.W.T.) made this difficult task from the tasks of the great messengers, that they uprooted corruption that spread in the societies and fought it because it is a transgression and oppression.

So, every messenger that Allah sent used to call his people to follow the straight path, the path of Allah (S.W.T.). And to clarify it to them and guide them to it. This is common among all the messengers; their first slogan was, "O’ People submit yourself to Allah only, surely you don’t have a Lord other than him."

After this call and based on it, we find every messenger uprooting all kinds of corruption in his society.

We see the prophet Hood (S.AW.) denying his people the arrogance on the earth and oppression. So, Allah (S.W.T) said in Surat Ash-Shu’ara, (Verse 128-131) that Hood said, what can be translated as, "Do you build high palaces on ever high place, while you do not live in them? And do you get for yourselves palaces as if you will live therein forever. And when you seize, you seize as tyrants. Now fear Allah, keep your duty to Him, and obey me."

We see the prophet Salih(S.A.W.) denying his people the corruption on the earth and following those who do mischief. So, Allah (S.W.T.) said in Surat Al-Araf, (Verse 74), what Salih said to his people, what can be translated as, "…So remember the graces from Allah, and do not go about making mischief on the earth." And Allah (S.W.T.) also says in Surat Ash-Shu’arah, (Verse 152 & 153), what can be translated as, "So fear Allah, keep you duty to Him, and obey me. And do not obey the command of Al-Musrifen (i.e. their chiefs, leaders who were polytheists, criminals and sinners against the law of Allah). Who make mischief in the land, and do not reform.

We see the prophet Loot (S.A.W.) denying his people the despicable act of homosexuality that spread among them. So, he (S.W.T.) said about this story in Surat Al-Ara’f, (Verse 80 & 81), what can be translated as, "And (remember) Loot when he said to his people: "Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding your has committed in the Alamin (mankind and jinn)? Verily, you practice you lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins.)." Also Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat Al-Ankabut, (Verse 29), what can be translated as, "Verily, you perform sodomy with men, and rob the wayfarer (travelers etc.)! And practice Al-Munkar in your club…"

We see the prophet Shu'ayb (S.A.W.) denying his people the crime of cheating when using the weight scale. So, Allah (S.W.T.) said in Surat Ash-Shuara, (Verse 181-183), what Shu’ayb said to his people, what can be translates as, "Give full measure, and cause no loss (to others). And weigh with the true and straight balance. And do not defraud the people by reducing their things, nor do evil, making corruption and mischief in the earth."

We see the prophet Mohammed (S.A.W.) denying his people the crime of killing innocent children, and legislating for themselves what Allah (S.W.T.) has not permitted. Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat Al-An’am, (Verse 140), what can be translated as, "Indeed lost are they who have killed their children, from folly, without knowledge, and have forbidden that which Allah has provided for them, inventing a lie against Allah. They have indeed gone astray and were not guided." He (S.W.T.) also says to them in Surat Al-Ma’idah, (Verse 103), what can be translated as, "Allah has not instituted things like Bahira (a she-camel whose milk was spared for the idols and nobody was allowed to milk it) or a Sa’iba (a she-camel let loose for free pasture for their false gods), or a Wasila (a she-camel set free for idols because it has given birth to a she-camel at its first delivery and then again gives birth to a she-camel with its second delivery) or a Haam (a stallion-camel freed from work for their idols, after it had finished a number of copulations assigned for it, all these animals were liberated in honor of idols as practiced by pagan Arabs in Pre-Islamic times). But those who disbelieve invent lies against Allah, and most of them have no understanding."

The sixth task is to run our affairs as Muslims according to the laws of Allah:

If the people accept and embrace the message of the messengers, they become one Jama’ah (group of people) and this Jama’ah progress and develop to become an Ummah, and this Ummah needs someone who can run its affairs and lead it. The great messengers were the ones who took on this great responsibility and ruled the people with the rules of Allah and His legislations. Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat, Al-Baqarah (Verse 213), what can be translated as, "Mankind was one Ummah (nation) and Allah sent Prophets with glad tidings and warnings, and with them He sent the Scripture in truth to judge between people in matters wherein they differed…"

Allah (S.W.T.) proclaims the mission of Dawud (S.A.W.) on earth, so he said in Surat Sa’d, (Verse 26), what can be translated as, "O’ David! Verily! We have placed you as Khalifah (a successor) on earth, so judge between people in truth and do not follow the desire - for it will mislead you from the Path of Allah…"

The prophets of the children of Israel used to rule their people with the Torah. The prophet Mohammed (S.A.W.) says in a Hadith reported by Imam Bukhari, Muslim and others, "The children of Israel used to be ruled by the prophets; when a prophet perished, another prophet arose (to rule them)." Allah (S.W.T.) speaks about this in Surat Al-Maidah, (Verse 44), what can be translated as, "Verily, We did send down the Torah (to Moses), therein was guidance and light, by which the Prophets, who submitted themselves to Allah’s Will, ruled the Jews. And the Rabbis and the priests (too ruled the Jews by the Torah after those Prophets) for to them was entrusted the protection of Allah’s Book." Allah (S.W.T.) also says about the Christians; the people of Injeel in the same Surah, in (Verse 47), what can be translated as, Let the People of the Gospel rule by what Allah has revealed therein. And whosoever does not rule by what Allah has revealed (then) such (people) are the Fasiqun (disobedient).

Then, Allah (S.W.T.) says to the prophet Mohammed (S.A.W.) in the same Surah, (Verse 48), what can be translated as "And We have sent down to you (O Mohammed) the Book (this Qur’an) in truth, confirming the Scripture that came before it and Mohayminan (trustworthy in highness) over it (old Scriptures). So judge between them by what Allah has revealed , and do not follow their vain desires, diverging away from that which has come to you…" He also says to the prophet (S.A.W.), in Surat An-Nisa’, (Verse 105), what can be translated as "Surely, We have sent down to you (O’ Mohammed) the Book (this Qur’an) in truth that you might judge between people by that which Allah has shown you…"

Finally, we summarize that our role today is the same as the role of the blessed messengers of Allah, because we are their successors till the day of judgment:

First, conveying the message of Islam in the clearest way.

Second, calling all people to Allah

Third, giving glad tidings and warnings, which were given to us by Allah.

Fourth, reforming and purifying the souls of the people.

Fifth, correcting Misguidance and Corruption in the Life of the People.

Sixth, is to run our affairs as Muslims according to the laws of Allah.

May Peace, Blessings n Mercy of Allmighty Allah SWT be on all of U.
Aameen Ya Rabbil Aalameen

May Allah SWT grant all of us the hidayah n make us the source of hidayah 4 others.
Aameen Ya Rabbil Aalameen

Allahumma nas'aluka salamat fiddin, wa 'afiyatan fil jasad, wa ziyadatan fi 'ilm, wa barakatan fi'rizqi, wa taubatan qablal maut, wa rahatan endal maut, wa maghfiratan baad'al maut, allahhuma hawwinna 'alaina fil sakaratul maut wa najjahanna minanaarr.
Aaameen Ya Rabbil Aalameen

kindly remember me in ur prys, Jazakallah e khairan wa kathiran, Fee Amaan Allah

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